Young kids, including preschoolers, are likely to ask questions about things they see around them and on TV—a person smoking a cigarette, a young couple drinking alcohol, or a group of friends using drugs. For some parents, the thought of answering these questions is nothing short of a nightmare. But when you think about it, your child’s dreaded questions are in fact wonderful opportunities to open up and really start communicating with your child about your family’s values and expectations.

Children aren’t usually interested in listening to long explanations or lists of substance-related facts and statistics. What they do want (and need) is honesty, clarity, and language they can understand.

Here are some tips for communicating with your child:

Avoid images that may unnecessarily frighten your child. If a young child asks you about smoking, it’s better to explain that smoking makes you smell bad than say smoking can kill you. Short-term substance-related harms have more impact on older children too. Talking about yellow teeth and bad breath from smoking is often more effective than describing lung cancer and heart disease.

Take advantage of teachable moments. If you’re enjoying a cocktail on your patio and your child wants to know why they can’t have a sip, talk to them about what alcohol is, how it’s used, and how it affects people of different ages. If you’re watching a video together and see someone who has had too much to drink, explain what has happened and the risks involved with overdoing it.

Talk when you have sufficient time. Sometimes your child may want answers to difficult questions at the worst possible time in the day, such as when you are preparing dinner, or when you’re in the car and already late for an appointment. Rather than ramble something off half-heartedly, tell your child you’re proud of them for coming up with such an interesting question and suggest sitting down and talking about it later that evening.

Create opportunities for meaningful discussions. There will probably be times when you need to send an important message to a child or prepare them for a difficult event, such as a funeral for someone who has died from smoking-related causes. Your best bet is to reserve some time to explore the issue through something your child might enjoy such as a visit to the public library or while playing a game on a health Web site designed for kids.

Some useful sites include:

www.zoot2.com/gamesactivities/index.htm
www.drugscope.org.uk/wip/24/games.htm
www.kidshealth.org/kid/closet/index.html
www.healthfinder.gov/scripts/kids_games.asp